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To the child of a parent with cancer or a terminal illness:

First I’d like to say, if you are reading this and can relate I want to tell you that I am so sorry you’re going through this. It is something you hear about others going through but cannot fully grasp until you are going through it yourself. I pray that by the time you finish reading this you will know that you’re not alone. I pray that you will feel the arms of the Father wrap around you and that Holy Spirit will come in as Comforter. More than anything, I pray that you will fall so much more in love with Jesus and run straight into His Presence. 

I write this from personal experience. In May 2022 my dad was diagnosed with Leukemia, I remember the night my parents told me and my brothers so vividly. I was in disbelief for a while, with many of these thoughts: 

“My dad, the strongest and most amazing man I’ve ever known has cancer? There has to be some mistake”.

 “He can’t be sick, he hasn’t walked me down the aisle”.

“He hasn’t seen me have kids, he will be the best Grandpa”!

“I simply just need him, he’s my best friend”. 

If you are going through this with a parent I’m sure you’ve had some of the same thoughts. I know this is easier said than done but something I always say is that “it’s okay to not be okay, but it’s not okay to stay that way”. Don’t be afraid to have your moment (or most likely moments), the Lord will meet you there, but then allow Him to pick you up so you can keep going. Again, this is something you never imagine or anticipate going through and there will likely be many moments of sadness, fear, confusion, and many other emotions but please take my advice: allow this to make you run into the Presence of God, don’t pull away. If there is anyone who understands sorrow it’s Jesus, in Isaiah 53:3 He is described as “a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief”. He is everything, and in Him you find everything you will ever need…that is a promise. 

I want to share with you some key things that brought me through this season:

Prayer & Declarations:

Sometimes when you’re going through this you can get overwhelmed with what and how to pray, I found that writing down Scriptures with declarations is so helpful and of course allowing Holy Spirit the freedom to guide you in your prayer time. Share these with your parents, it will build their faith as well and also be so sweet and encouraging for them to see you’re taking the time to pray for them. Write them down, have them in your phone, place them up in your home, constantly have His Word before you especially for moments when doubt/fear/worry try to creep in. It is essential to find Scripture for what you’re believing for because the Word does not fail. In Isaiah 55:11 the Lord says of His Word “…it will accomplish all I want it to, and prosper everywhere I send it”. He does not lie, and He ALWAYS keeps His promises.

Also, remember who you’re praying to. You are praying to the one true God with whom nothing is impossible. He is the miracle worker. He gives you the authority to pray in the name of Jesus, the name that is above every other name. No matter what the doctors say or how to report may look, ultimately the word of the Lord wins EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Your prayers matter, and some days your prayers may be drenched with tears, those are powerful too. 

Honor:

Honor, often overlooked, but truly one of the key things I would encourage you to go after. One of the ten commandments is on honoring your parents. Exodus 20:12 says “Honor your father and your mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you”. This is very important and truly moves the heart of the Lord. What honor means here is to respect, obey, and care for. Just like you, your parents most likely never imagined they’d be in this situation either. It is hard on them most likely in every area: spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally, and also for their spouse to see the one they love and have spent their life with dealing with this. 

Your parents have spent their entire lives doing their best to give you everything, and if that is not the case for you, I’m so sorry but please take this advice as well. I grew up with the most amazing parents and this time was one of the most special and beautiful to be able to give back to them what they have given me for my entire life. And yes, it is very strange and kind of sad to take care of the one who took care of you but trust me, it will also be one of the greatest honors and privileges of your life, at least it was for me. So whether that’s spending time, driving to doctors appointments, being an ear to listen, feeding, bathing, comforting, whatever that looks like for you, do it unto them in honor, and ultimately unto the Lord who will be so pleased with you. 

Be the light:

As I mentioned earlier, I’m sure that neither you nor your parents ever imagined you all would be going through this as a family, it’s hard on everyone, but I want to encourage you to be the light to your family. Some days will be more difficult than others, things may be tense, stressful, sad, or all of the above and this is where you come in…remember in the beginning of this blog when I said to run into the Presence of God? Well, this is one of the reasons why. We should always run into His Presence, Jesus is everything and our first and greatest commandment is to love God, everything else flows from this intimate relationship with Him. Be in continual worship, praise, and adoration, pouring out everything at His feet because no matter the situation or circumstance, He is worthy. When you’re so full of Him it overflows into every area of your life, you are a carrier of His Presence. So when they are sad, you carry joy, when there is fear or worry, you carry peace, when there is doubt, you carry faith. He will fill you and sustain you as you continue to seek Him. 

Find someone who has gone through the same thing or similar:

Something that helped me so much when my dad was diagnosed and throughout that whole time was having a friend who had gone through almost the exact same thing with her dad a few years prior. When I would ask questions, needed to talk she was there, and many times gave advice that didn’t even know I needed. I am so grateful to have had that. If you don’t know of anyone in your life that could walk with you like this I’d be more than happy to help in any way that I can. 

…and lastly, but most important:

My friend, please know that I am praying with you and for you. My most valuable piece of advice that will be the key for this season and your entire life is to love Jesus. Yes, it is that simple, I promise there is nothing else that will do. Spend time with Him everyday, invite Him into every part of your day. Read your Bible, it’s His love letter to you. Worship Him. Praise Him. And thank Him that you and your family will come out of this season in complete victory in Jesus name.

Please let me know if this helped you in any way, I’d love to hear from you and be here if you need anything! 

Instagram/Tik-Tok: @abigailmespinosa