“If they only knew…”

*Warning: very vulnerable & transparent post ahead!*

Many times when I’ve gone through difficult times, hard seasons, or just bad days I would always wonder:

• “If they only knew I was struggling with anxiety…”
• “If they only knew I cried myself to sleep last night…”
• “If they only knew sometimes I feel lonely…”
• “If they only knew sometimes I wonder if I’m qualified or capable…”
• “If they only knew sometimes I do care what people think of me…”

As a 25 year old single Pastor (& even just as a human being) these are things that have come up from time to time for me. People coming to me for prayer and counsel when I feel empty, I’m struggling, or maybe even going through something similar than they are. I’ll always ask Holy Spirit for guidance help them into victory but as soon as they leave that thought would come in “…if they only knew…”.

It used to make me shy away, I would try and direct them to someone who could better help them because I thought I wasn’t capable or qualified.

Lately, I’ve been seeing how it’s actually something God is using for good. See, I may not have every answer but I know THE answer, His name is Jesus. I can tell you how He was worked in me, led me to victory and brought me through…sometimes day by day, moment by moment, but there is always victory in Him. Had I not had those experiences (past, current, and future…P. S. everyone is going through something) I wouldn’t be able to tell you my testimony and help lead you into freedom.

I love that the Bible shows us examples of how even Jesus is acquainted with what we go through so He understands and is better able to help us because of it. Here are some examples:

• He was despised and rejected andforsaken by men, a Man of sorrows and pains, and acquainted with grief and sickness; and like One from Whom men hide their faces He was despised, and we did not appreciate His worth or have any esteem for Him.

          -Isaiah 53:3 (AMPC)

• For we do not have a High Priest who is unable to sympathize andunderstand our weaknesses and temptations, but One who has been tempted [knowing exactly how it feels to be human] in every respect as we are, yet without [committing any] sin.

         -Hebrews 4:15 (AMP)

• Because God’s children are human beings—made of flesh and blood—the Son also became flesh and blood. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the devil, who had the power of death. Only in this way could he set free all who have lived their lives as slaves to the fear of dying.

         We also know that the Son did not come to help angels; he came to help the descendants of Abraham.      Therefore, it was necessary for him to be made in every respect like us, his brothers and sisters, so that he could be our merciful and faithful High Priest before God. Then he could offer a sacrifice that would take away the sins of the people. Since he himself has gone through suffering and testing, he is able to help us when we are being tested.

-Hebrews 2:14-18 (NLT)

Whether you’re in ministry or not, single or married, young or old, I’m sure you’ve been through this on some level. It could be faking a smile to friends or family, blessing someone when you’re struggling financially, or so many other things.

Friend, if you can relate to this I want to encourage you, keep going, keep fighting. Cling to Jesus with everything you have because in Him you have everything. Your victory is going to help lead others into victory and they will give God praise for it. Be vulnerable and transparent but never magnify the problem, magnify Jesus. Be open and honest with yourself and with God, pushing aside the issue won’t fix it, but laying it at His feet in surrender will. Take the journey with Him, it’s beautiful, He’s beautiful, and give Him all the glory for every victory.